stars-and-monsters:

the-spanish-timquisition:

artiestroke:

splintercellconviction:

giraffepoliceforce:

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf).

By the time you realise that they can traverse water, it’s too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives; the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes.

You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come.

The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue.

“Hippopotamus.”

This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinned 

Imagine not just the wildlife but the very planet itself.

Ireland unit:
All attempts to establish steady food supply have been futile. The humans plant a poisonous tuber in nearly every inch of fertile ground. The chemistry team has been unable to synthesize an antidote to these poe-tay-toes

Southeast Asia unit:
*Monsoon noises*

Alaska unit:
Tragedy struck today when the Alaska team touched down in the mud flats, only for the lander to be immediately swallowed up by mud.

Guys. Imagine them meeting a moose.

A patrol of aliens is fighting against some of the Canadian resistance and the next thing they know a fucking moose comes out. The humans just abandon they’re posts and run and the aliens are left there with a giant ass moose. And they’re just like… What the fuck? Because they’ve met and categorized the deer and elk in the forests of America and this is just a larger version of those. What’s so scary about this thing?

Then they learned. And they knew that they had made a grave mistake in coming to earth.