abadtime:

ichiwashername-o:

xenodile:

determinedtomato:

Undertale au where the whole game is a D&D session and Asriel is the DM

Frisk: i roll to pet the dog.

Asriel: you pet the dog. it was a good dog.

Frisk: i roll to pet th-

Asriel: Frisk you’ve been petting the dog for the past 5 turns you can stop now.

Frisk: i roll to pet the dog.

Asriel: The Absolute God of Hyperdeath casts Galacta Blazing- 

Papyrus: I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING THAT SPELL IN ANY OF THE RULE BOOKS.  OR THIS CHARACTER.  OR ANYTHING FROM THIS CAMPAIGN, REALLY.

Asriel: W-well, it’s from the newest edition available online, s-so just hush.  Anyway, Frisk, roll for evasion.

Frisk: I rolled a 1.

Asriel: Galacta Blazing strikes you square in the chest, piercing your very soul and dealing 5d8 arcane damage totaling…29 damage after armor and resistance.  Your life is brought to -20, killing yo-

Frisk: I roll to resist.

Asriel: What.

Frisk: I roll to resist dying.

Asriel: Frisk you have a Light Armor score of 3 and no magic resistance, how are you going to-

Frisk: My soul is too determined and refuses to die.

Asriel: …Okay, fine.  You make one last ditch effort to resist the God of Hyperdeath’s pow-

Papyrus: I LOOKED UP THE LATEST EDITION OF THE RULE BOOKS ONLINE BUT I COULDN’T FIND THE GOD OF HYPERDEATH ANYWHERE, AND GALACTA BLAZING ISN’T IN ANY OF THE SPELL COMPENDIUMS.

Asriel: Papyrus, not now!  I’m just about to wi-

Frisk: I rolled a 20.  

Asriel: …Your soul refused to die…restoring you to full health…

Frisk: I buy a hot dog.

Asriel: you can’t buy a hot dog you don’t have enough bag space.

Sans: I put the hot dog on their head.

Asriel: …

Sans: I roll to put the hot dog on Frisk’s head.

Asriel: you put the got dog on Frisk’s head.

Frisk: I want another hot dog.

Sans: I put another hot dog on their head.

Asriel: *internal screaming*

Ariel: You enter the clearing. There’s a route going down to the right and it opens out in front of you. It’s really nice and peaceful. The town is in sight, and there’s the smell of cinnamon in the air. It feels safe.

Undyne: A clearing?? Sounds like an ARENA to me

Papyrus: THAT DOES SOUND QUITE SUSPICIOUS.

Asriel: No, but it’s really peaceful, guys. You get the impression this would be a great place to sit down and check supplies. I know I’ve made you go through a load of puzzles, but I figured you deserved a break to -

Frisk: I check for traps.

Asriel: Um, okay. Make a roll?

Frisk: 13 on Notice.

Asriel: Okay… you go to the first bump in the snow. It’s a snow poff.

Frisk: I check the next one.

Asriel: Uh… and this… Is a snow poff.

Frisk: Next one

Asriel: O-kay. This, however, is a snow poff

Undyne: I’m bored, this is stupid.

Frisk: I check the next one.

Asriel: Surprisingly, it’s a snow poff.

Frisk: Next

Papyrus: OH MY GOD